been a minute

movies, videocameras, shows, and the glands.

heya,

i really wrote a long rambly near essay about my inner turmoil on sharing my thoughts and inner world with you and how i struggle with it and feel judgmental of myself. and if i feel that way about myself than likely you also feel judgmental of me and then i remembered that i am a speck of dust in this wild, horrid, and beautiful world and that it kind of …doesn’t matter. recalibrate and move on.

delete post.

so now i am here to tell you about what has been going on.

in sept/oct of 2022, i went on a solo tour opening for angel olsen (literal angel) across europe and the uk. i somehow convinced my friend ryan to come along to help with merch and driving. he was down so long as he could bring along his new handheld fancy video camera to shoot. would he do something with all this footage? neither of us knew, but i was happy to have someone document something that i never really have much time or energy to document. on solo tours (and some full band tours) i often am tour managing myself. this entails advancing each show, coordinating travel and rentals, selling my own merch, finding places to eat and sleep, and driving from city to city etc. this is normal for me- but can be intense when you are also …ya know. performing each night. this was my first time doing so in europe/uk. if that sounds…easy look at this map of everywhere we traveled chasing the AO bus in our tiny suv rental. we started in portugal and ended in dublin.

prettyyyyyy wild. ryan may have lost his passport and one point. and i may have lost my ever loving mind deciding to this tour while knowing i had to fly directly to philly to start touring with tegan & sara the next day, for another month long run. but alas- she lives to tell the tale.

ryan made a movie and we are screening it at the roxy in tribecca this saturday evening, april 27th. there are still some tickets left, but i imagine it will sell out. the lovely and living musical library of a human being, margeaux will join us for a q&a after the film. we will also be screening the music videos from i don’t know who needs to hear this… as april 29th will be the 2 year anniversary of that record (wild and yes i am working on new music). i will also play a couple songs acoustically as i was told i must.

maybe i will have some special merch there as well? whomst to say, guess ya gotta grab a ticket to find out!

i do hope you can come. i am proud of what ryan made and i keep calling it an ambient road film. i think that is an accurate depiction of what he made.

hm what else…

i have been going to A LOT of shows and A LOT of movies because i well, love to do that. i think it helps fill my inspiration cup when i feel a little lost or stuck. or uninspired. i keep getting asked if i use letterboxd and i kind of do as in i have an account, but i don’t really understand…how to use it. i have a very unwell phone note keeping track of each show i go to and each movie i watch. it is fun.

another fun thing for me has been bringing my crappy little hand held cam corder to shows. i (like many people) sometimes feel anxious at shows. i think post pandemic this happened to me. i love to glue myself to a wall or corner for comfort. but capturing moments with this thing instead of my phone has been really fun for me. i hate to have my phone out at a show and i lowkey hate to look out at an audience and see a phone. i am not crazy upset about a phone at a show- i myself take it out from time to time to capture a song or a moment…but it does take me out of it. i am focusing on my phone and not really ~the moment~ ! alternatively, i find when i am capturing a photo or a video of a friend using something that isn’t instantly able to be uploaded to instagram etc people react more organically. it removes a wall of fear or anxiety for me and whoever i am trying to discreetly shoot. idk i am not special for being another person with a camcorder but i do like how tiny it is. i was at a tagabow show recently and there were so many giant ass camcorders i was really stressed someone was gonna mosh their head right into one.

anyway, been uploading them on instagram. been trying to find a way to use that horrid app that doesn’t make me feel so Unwell. this has been fun, but been thinking of making a youtube channel the full length vids can live on. is anyone interested in that? idk why i am asking, I AM INTERESTED.

i do need to take a moment and say i have been obsessed with this record double thriller by the glands since ….idk november? my friends adam and greg were hanging out and i crashed the hang and there was this perfect earworm of a song playing softly in the background and i was like what is thiiiiissss and adam was like isn’t it Perfect and i said Yes. whomst. turns out the whole record slaps and i listened non stop for months and now i am on a once a week run through. it is. so good. that i almost don’t want to talk about it. i want to hoard it away in the depths of my heart. i don’t want to hear anything bad about it. i do not want you to tell me it sounds like something else. it does not. i think i am obsessed with how it kind of turns itself in and out and reaches different sonic territory without losing the thread. that is one of the main goals for the next record i am working on… i don’t want each song to feel the need to be a companion to the last, but there must be a thread. i am influenced by all sorts of music and most the stuff i listen to or am really captivated by doesn’t share much commonality with my own. i think people who make music for a living can feel pushed to make stuff in the vein of what they know their audience likes. but i think music listeners are smarter than that. you don’t need to be spoon fed. anyway.

very inspiring record ! and i also feel like it could come out today, but they released this in 1997. another great athens band from the 90s.

maybe one day i will get Really Good at composing these little notes to you, but i am learning to let go of my ideas of perfection.

that is all i have to tell you.

till next time.

x

tomberlin